April 20

Happy Easter Audrey.

I hope work is closed or you have the whole day off so you can spend time with your family and hopefully go to church with them. I remember fondly you coming to Easter with me last year. That was very special to me. I knew how incredibly lucky and blessed I was to have someone like you who shared like-minded values with me and had a strong faith, prayed for me and with me. Something I never ever took for granted. And I hope the one of your future would never underappreciate that quality. It’s rare and it’s invaluable. And I was lucky to cherish it at least for a moment.

Last Easter: March 31, 2024. We had just recently started hanging out again. I was so in love already. Completely obsessed with everything about you. You made me feel ways that I never had experienced. I was so nervous around you. But not in a bad way. In a way because you mattered to me. Me internally reacting to the excitement and anticipation of being around someone I care about. I wouldn't feel that way if you didn’t mean anything to me. Those butterflies you gave me were like nothing I ever experienced before or after. No big job, no first day of school, no Jiu-Jitsu tournament compared to it and how alive I was in those moments. I hope it proves my vulnerability and sincerity. And I hope that was appreciated once upon a time.

Selfishly, I wish I had that feeling back.

Happy Easter again.

I pray to God that you be blessed. I pray for protection in Charlotte and that He watches over your household. I pray you’re being blessed in your personal life, and that the Lord is sending you people and a circle that will love you and support you. I pray for your heart and mind to be healed from me. I know it’s hurting. And I genuinely beg God that your pain is relieved. You deserve it Audrey. It doesn’t work this way but I pray you could forget about me altogether. If it would repair your heart, I pray you could. Amen.