Valentine's Day

Happy (or not so happy) Valentines Day Audrey. Today really isn’t happy. Today really does suck. Probably for you too. I hate that I ruined what could’ve been such a sweet holiday for the both of us. I wish we could celebrate together and could have fun and feel love and give love on this holiday. Get you flowers and take you out. I cried like a baby after canceling a reservation. I made one the second you told me you requested off work.

I do understand why you can’t text me any further. You’re sick of the torment and pain and I’m surprised my texts are delivering and I’m not blocked on everything already. I do hate to keep spamming you with things that don’t concern you any longer and that’s why I’ve reverted to these.

I wish I could still feel your love and all the beautiful emotions that you gave me throughout our relationship. I hate that you never felt loved from me. I hate myself for that. I thought you did show me how to love, and realistically I just didn’t do it right, and I didn’t listen. The love I felt and feel for you is consuming and I feel completely broken and empty that this road has come to an end and I can’t love on you and show you and tell you how much I do and how much you mean to me. It’s awful.

I miss you so much. I’m sorry for ruining what could have been today, again. It’s kind of eating me alive talking to myself here and I think I’ll probably still text you.

I hope you make the most of the day and do something for YOU. Make yourself feel the way I should’ve made you feel and love yourself way better than I ever could. Happy Valentine’s.