March 8

Today is a year since we first saw each other again for the first time since January. But really Fall of 2023 if you don't count that little whatever in January. We went to World, Bdubs was there and we went back to Cody’s apartment. I remember how excited I was to see you. Leading up to it I was going crazy just waiting to be around you again. I wanted to see you so bad. I remember driving your car after and you were really nervous for me to drive your new car but you were really drunk.

You were wearing one of my favorite outfits of yours. It’s this black long sleeve crop top that the arms are kinda see-through or lace? I think what it would be called. I was so happy to see you that night. I stayed at the trap house till like 5AM because I just wanted to cherish every possible chance I had to be around you. Not taking it for granted.

Bdubs stayed with us too. I felt really bad. But even still we’ll joke about the trap house and staying up till 5AM for WHAT? It’s funny and I am glad I experienced that, as I have something funny to look back on with of course my friend but also you.

March 8, 2024 was a pillar in the start of something beautiful. Regardless of how the story ends— I subjectively think there was a lot of beauty in it. The new feelings I felt because of you. The love. I was so confused at certain ways you treated me. Because it was SO good. You were so good to me.

It’s a great way to live; Having no regrets. And even bad times, down periods, failures and losses in life don’t have to be a regret. They can be growth and lessons. But I hold a high number of regrets about how I threw us away. I feel like you know that. I regret so much, because I know what I could’ve done better for you. I’m sorry.