March 28

Hey. Good morning. I miss you. You continue to be the first thing I think of when I wake up. Not sure that could ever change.

I played pickle ball with my mom today at 9AM. The weather was perfect. My mom asked about you. She obviously knew something happened since she hadn’t seen you since like fall/winter. I told her some but spared her most details. Just told her I f***ed up and put myself in this position. And every negative feeling, every bit of sad is self-inflicted. She’s sad and sad for me too. She knew how happy I was and she obviously really liked you.

I wish I could see you. I hate that I’m blocked on everything. Even seeing you online would give me that satisfaction. But I imagine you’re already doing better and finding happiness in the things you love to do and that make you you. And you can't afford to have me unblocked.

I miss you still and love you still. I’m sorry.